Back to the grind

Since I was out of town on Thursday and Friday and most of Saturday, my brain is really confused as to what day it is. Especially since all of last week I was either waking up at the crack of dawn to study, go to interviews, or run. I woke up at 8:30 this morning…quite possibly the latest I’ve slept in a while…with the feeling that I was missing something.

Of course I’m not. My brain is just playing tricks on me.

I thoroughly enjoyed my mini-break and I’m already looking forward to spring break (which is two weeks away!!) but for now I need to attempt to relax and focus. As if that will actually happen. Well, the focusing has to happen. The relaxing? Not so much. I’m off to the library to find some books for my next paper proposal….

Happy Monday!

Safety nets

I’ve been thinking a lot of safety nets as of late, mostly in the context of deciding where I want to continue my education. I could stay put and be happy because I love the faculty, I’m familiar with all of the nuances of the program and campus, I know all the great restaurants in the city, and most of all, I am comfortable.

But is comfort what I am really looking for?

“Control is overrated, if your idea is to actually truly live your life. Whether it’s learning how to dance or having the richest travel experience, life’s enjoyments are fueled by letting go of the safety equipment”.

I experienced many travel snafus over my 3 days away: closed highways, 20 mile detours, rainy mountain roads, taking wrong turns and hearing my GPS say “recalculating” a million times.

And the funny thing? I kind of enjoyed it. I enjoyed not knowing what was going to happen next, who I was going to meet next, even where I was going to eat dinner. I missed the boy more than anything but I loved being away from routine and the familiar. I loved being in a place where people had no expectations of me and knowing that there were endless possibilities.

That is going to be the tough question: does promise of endless possibilities outweigh the safety net of already being familiar?

I realize these are some deep thoughts for a Sunday morning! Truthfully, my brain isn’t completely wrapped around them either. So I think I’ll go back to sipping coffee, watching Sex and the City, and reading magazines in bed.

How do you feel about safety nets? And what are you doing on this lovely Sunday morning?

Life is good

I’m sitting on a giant, fluffy bed and watching The New Adventures of Old Christine on a flat screen TV

I just scarfed down a gigantic salad from Whole Foods and am drinking a local beer

I ran a 10k this afternoon and it was pure bliss

I haven’t studied or even thought about classes in 2 days

I bought cucumber & avocado sushi for my lunch on the drive tomorrow

The boy is taking me out for a date night tomorrow!

I feel happier than I have in weeks. Like exuberant, smiling like a crazy lady at strangers happy. I feel like myself again. This weekend away is just what I prescribed…for myself. It’s like some new cleaning agent, “funk be gone”.

Life is good. And I am in love with it.

Why do you love life?

Friday love list: Road trip edition

Driving 6 hours is tiring. But it’s also freeing. After a hectic few weeks, getting out on the open highway just driving felt spectacular. Sure, driving longer distances comes with its own set of stresses but not having to worry about exams or studying or clinic schedules is like lifting a gigantic weight off of my shoulders. And I’ve always loved knowing that I am out being adventurous when other people are stuck in class. Basically, this weekend was just what I needed to get my spunky spirit back.

It’s Friday, and I’m in love with:

Singing out loud at the top of my lungs while driving down the highway

Blueberry bagels with peanut butter

Counting out of state license plates

Not having to go to class. Or study.

Being filled with an adventurous spirit and feeling as if I could conquer anything

Happy Friday!

Soulful Thursday

This post was inspired by Tulips and Tea.

She inspired to think about what nourishes my soul.

Lately I’ve been running around like crazy getting ready for my trip and studying until my brain ached and trying to get in runs. Needless to say, I’ve had very little time to stop and smell the roses.

What is nourishing to the soul?

Almond butter cups

Long, easy runs

Back rubs

Fresh fruit smoothies

Warm sunshine

Cozying up under the blankets

Drinking warm tea

What nourishes your soul?

{I’m leaving for my “road trip” today so I am not sure how much Internet access I will have and posts may be sporadic, but I will attempt to check in! Happy Thursday!}

Busy as a bumblebee

I’m leaving town tomorrow so life has been extra hectic.

All I could think about at 11 am was how bad I would like to just lay down on the floor. That would not be wise in the middle of Panera. But life has been that hectic.

I somehow thrive when time is short so even though there have been many times where all I can think about it going home and sleeping, I’ve actually been enjoying having a million things to do. It makes me feel efficient and kinda like Super Woman…why yes, I think I will go get my oil changed and wash my own car and study for an exam and go to class all in one day.

Although I have a confession: I skipped my morning class so I could run. I guess we all need a little me-time when things get crazy. And trying to fit 5 days of to-do lists into 3 days is the first ingredient in the recipe for crazy. As long as I make sure I run and eat healthfully (and make a million notes on post-its), people are safe. But the second I stop getting my endorphin rush and eating vegetables or lose one of my to-do lists? People should head for the hills because they are liable to be shanked with a letter opener. ‘Nuf said.

How do you ensure your sanity during crazy weeks?

{Today’s run: 5 mile tempo run on the treadmill}

Tuesday confessional

This Tuesday Confessional programming is brought to you by Bob Dylan:

I’m not sure how to express my feelings better than this song, which has comforted me through more scary times of the unknown than I wish to count!

1. I’ve never driven more than an hour by myself. And at the end of this week, I’ll be driving nearly 6. I am terrified. And excited. But mostly terrifiedly excited…if that makes any sense whatsoever…

2. I’ve always wanted to go on a road trip by myself. And I’m really excited to try local beers and meet new people and explore on my own because I have always been weirdly independent like that. What makes me feel slightly Bob Dylan-y is the fact that this may be a glimpse into my future away from the boy.

3. On a happier topic, cinnamon crunch bagels at Panera are the bomb diggity. I’m drooling just thinking about it.

4. I cancelled my clinic appointments for today because I have a massive midterm tomorrow and wanted to wear comfy clothes/camp out at Panera to study.

5. As much as I *know* my future is for real, I feel like I need to keep pinching myself because I just cannot believe it!

Do you have a “go to” comforting song?

I did not run today…

…and the world did not come crashing down.

Hallelujah.

Wednesdays and Sundays are my usual days of rest but I decided to improvise a) I have a massive midterm on Wednesday and decided that studying would be ideal, b) last night was an epic fail that left with me a churning tummy and heartburn and waking up in the middle of the night x 1000, c) my schedule this week is pretty topsy turvy compared to usual since I’m going out of town so I figured one more change in plans wouldn’t kill me.

Regarding my massive failure of last night. It was bad. I’ve had worse, but it was bad. And to be completely candid, I’m glad that I’ve been feeling like my stomach is trying to crawl out of my throat because maybe, just maybe, it’ll teach me a lesson: that I need to get better because not getting better means more missed runs and more feeling awful.

As of right this moment, it has led me to some newfound determination that the rest of February will be failure-free. Counting today, March is 8 days away.  Most of February was a crazy-fest, but 8 days of it will be an awesome-fest. I have no specific goals for these 8 days. Just “don’t fail”. That’s it. THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAAAA!

One week

In a little over one week, it’ll be March.

That means that in a little over one week, I’ll start getting acceptance letters. And hopefully the boy will too.

So in a little over a week, I’ll be able to start forming a more solid picture of my future.

In a little over a week, the boy and I can start discussing what the future holds for us.

In a little over a week, I’ll be well on my way to healing (more on that later today)

In a little over a week, I’ll have endured an entire day of interviews and a road trip by myself (eek)

In a little over a week, I’ll have to start apartment searching more seriously.

In a little over a week, my future will start seemingly very real.

Basically, in a little over one week, my life is going to be put into a washing machine. And that’s not necessarily bad; in fact, I think it will be wonderful! I mean, I’ve been waiting for March pretty much since December. Now that it’s getting closer I am…terrified. And excited. So much is going to happen. But no matter what happens, life is good!

What are you looking forward to?

Sunday evening thoughts

Sunday is a somewhat difficult day for me. It’s full of relaxing and pajama wearing but it’s also full of laundry, studying, and getting ready for the week.

And it gives me the doldrums.

I’m a creature of habit, so I’ve created a Sunday night routine for myself…as a way to beat the blues and break the cycle of negativity so that I can start my Mondays on an upbeat note. After getting all of my laundry and cleaning and studying done, I cozy up on my couch, turn on Friday night’s episode of Portlandia, and eat pizza (tonight was tomato, mozzarella & feta whole wheat pizza…it was ah-mazing).

Some people might say my level of routine is a bit much, but for me it’s sheer bliss.

I’ve always been addicted to schedules and routine and a bit wary of change but now, more than ever, I’m clinging to my day to day routines simply because they are what I have control over. I don’t have control over the weather, or when I’ll be getting acceptance letters, or where I’ll be getting acceptance letters to. Or even what challenges I face in the clinics or what actions the boy takes.

So I cling to my “knowns”. And savor them. And repeat them. And sometimes I do something “out of my box” (and it’s that much more delicious because it’s different and new).

How do you beat your Sunday night blues? Do you love schedules?