It’s autumn and everything is changing. The weather, my wardrobe, my menu (goodbye lettuce, hello soup!). I can *finally* wear sweaters and cute socks without looking like a strange Southerner hoping for fall. But other things are changing, too.
Such as my outlook on life.
I cannot stop thinking about life outside of school. I can just see it in my mind: a cute little house, a baby on the way, a job with regular 9-5 hours. Time to try new recipes, go for long runs, afford things that cost more than $25. The future? Yeah, I want it to be now. My classmates are all out drinking and partying and all I can think about
I know with all of my heart that I just need to slow down and enjoy what I have now…school, (arguably) more free time [although I beg to differ on this “argument” handed down to me by parents and professors…classes, clinical rotations, and a 20 hour/week job + running, yoga-ing = very little time for me to just be], very few “big girl” responsibilities.
I know what’s got me feeling this way: seeing my married classmates buying houses and having babies and not having to spend every waking weekday hour slaving away on campus. Work + school has always been something that I’ve had to do but it’s getting a lot more difficult for me to juggle everything and still be who I want to be. I’ve been thinking more about what life would be like without work + school and this leads me to believe that I’ve got some seriously evaluating to do.
I’ve always been one to look towards the future, but the only time I seriously fantasize about things I know I can’t yet have is when some serious dissatisfaction is coming on.
Needless to say, my mind has been psyching me out. But there’s not much I can do about it right now aside from breathe, study, and keep my eye on my small goals.
Small goal #1: Run a sub-60 minute 10k in November
Small goal #2: Write a solid research proposal by December
Small goal #3: Survive this semester and then re-evaluate what I need for next semester.
Whew. First up: create a kick-butt 10k training plan…