Ya’ll, I’m an adult now.
I donate to NPR, I work every day, I generally dislike my job.
And passion for day to day life? Yeah, that’s basically gone. I have somehow cultivated an extraordinary dislike for clinic. I feel like patients are whiny, I don’t want to put effort into paperwork, everything about it just makes me feel so underwhelmed. I can’t quite put my finger on *why* I feel this way because I genuinely love what I’m studying and am excited about my future prospects.
I guess the problem is that I feel so stagnant right now? Maybe it’s because I feel like I’ve taken steps backwards rather than steps forward. And it’s quite possible that all of the drama that I created in my mind over the past month or so has just left me somewhat jaded.
So this morning I’m watching Parks and Recreation. Because Leslie Knope unabashedly loves her job. And I’m drinking tea, because tea makes me feel calm and happy. And I’m wearing pajamas and reviewing my patient files for the day, because that’s the most comfortable way to prepare.
I’m going to put on my big girl pants, pretty earrings, and stroll into clinic like I have all the confidence in the world. And then I’m going to ask a million questions, not get discouraged over small things, and tackle all of my tasks as if I had nothing to do lose.