Create a vision and set your goals: 6 months

I created my 10 year vision about a year ago. However, in the past few weeks, I have realized that I’ve reverted to full-on meltdown mode. This means terrible nutrition, too much Netflix, no running, lots of kicking myself in the head for past “mistakes”, lots of “what-ifs”. Basically I’ve been frantically treading water instead of gliding forward, which is what I feel I should be doing. I’ve been splitting myself into a million pieces and, therefore, have been completely unable to focus or be passionate about one thing.

Passion. It’s what’s for dinner. Or should be, but apparently it’s what I’m lacking.

So enter the 6 month vision. {It started as 5 years. Then turned into 1 year. Then 6 months. Apparently that’s about as much as I can bite off at the moment, which is okay. Rome wasn’t built in a day, right?}

I am hoping to give myself clarity, or at least the clarity to see that everything is going to be just fine.

In six months…

# My research project will be approved. I will be almost to the midpoint of data collection and cruising along comfortably.

# I will have lost 10 pounds. No, I’m not fat. When I tell people that I’ve gained a large amount of weight since grad school commenced, they gawk at me. But *I* know that most of my pudge has come from mindless eating and would feel more comfortable if it was just…gone. I’d like to be a healthier version of myself.

# I will run a half marathon. Half marathon #5 to be exact. And it will be splendiforous. Running will be a regular part of my hectic routine and even though I’ll probably only have enough time to run 3x week, I’ll make it happen.

# I will have regained my passion for clinic. I’m not sure how. Perhaps through hours of watching Grey’s Anatomy reruns. But I will again love helping patients and be okay with mountains of paperwork and be at peace with the fact that I will never be perfect at it.

# I will have carved out some time every week for girl time.

# I will have made 6 recipes and/or crafts from Pinterest.

# I will have finished 2 novels of my choosing…completely unrelated to school. Preferably more than that but 2 is the bare minimum.

# I will have a weekly date night with G. Being engaged to a fellow grad student means we are both unspeakably busy so making time for each other that doesn’t involve pajamas or delivered pizza is essential.

# Have a lab job. Currently I slave in a lab and I slave at work. Neither are extremely satisfying, which is probably part of the cause for my teenage angst.

# Write {nearly} daily. Whether it be on this blog or a recipient-less email to myself.

# Have a grown up dinner party. Yep, I went there.

# Get halfway through wedding planning.

# Get a new license. You know, before my current one expires and I drive around town like a bandit.

# Create a budget. And stick to it.

# Have game night at Chez G and I. Again, yes, I went there.


Wild and precious life

I’ve always considering myself to be an ambition woman, a woman who doesn’t take no for an answer or back down to a challenge.

These week, however, has been more challenging and exhausting than I was prepared for. I took one healing step forward last week and two back this week.

But an old friend of mine always used to tell me, “healing is not a linear process”. And she was right. Some weeks are going to be harder than others, especially when those womanly hormones are flowing and schedules are packed and sleep is short. Weeks like like this one make me forget the big picture. You know, the huge framed one that has me with Dr. in front of my name, holding a fluffy cat, and smiling like a crazy woman in my running clothes.

I’d like to spite my cereal and pizza and exhaustion filled week. I’d like to laugh in its face and tell it what’s what.

Of course, it wasn’t until I visited the prAna blog that I started thinking about what I truly want out of my life. What I want is to be able to run long and strong, a person to love and hug and kiss on in the worst of times, the ability to help people with and be fulfilled by my profession.

And then I had a crazy realization. I have all of that. Right this very second. I may not be able to run a marathon or get married or make a million dollar right at this moment, but all of my basic “wants” of life are completely fulfilled.

What do you want to accomplish in life?

2011 is almost here!

It’s New Year’s Eve and I cannot believe that 2010 is almost over. For me, 2010 was a year of adjustment: I applied to doctoral programs, realized that only running every single day makes my body hate me, and met a wonderful new boy. All in all, I can say that 2010 was hard at times but I learned a lot about myself, about what I can handle, and about what I want in life. And I guess that’s really all I can hope for.

With that said, I was 2011 to be my best year yet. Obviously there are some things that are completely out of my control (what schools I get into, etc) but if there’s one thing that 2010 taught me, it’s to roll with the punches and that is a lesson I’d like to carry over into the new year. So I’ve decided to come up with 11 goals (I know, 11 seems like a lot but most of mine will take very little effort!) in order to enrich my life and make me into a healthier, more well-rounded person.

11 goals for 2011:

1. Write every day. It doesn’t matter if it’s on my blog, in a journal, or on a random scrap of paper as I’m waiting for class to start.

2. Try more beer. Beer? Making me healthier? Yeah, no. But I love beer and tend to get stuck in a Blue Moon/Guinness rut. There is sooo much out there and I want to taste some of it!

3. Try more new recipes. Okay, another vague goal related to me getting stuck in ruts…I’ll revise this to “try at least one new recipe every other week”. Why every other week? Well, because I’m a busy student. So I’ll aim for more, but be content with less.

4. Start the day with Sun Salutations

5. Go ice skating (more often!). I’m a New England girl who was raised on ice skating. I now live in the South. When I first moved here, I skated every Saturday and I’m still not sure why I stopped.

6. “Detox” once a week

7. Run a sub-1:50 half marathon. I’m not sure when I’ll accomplish this or what race I’ll even do but this is a goal I have every year and I’m more certain this will be the year I accomplish it.

8. Be more open with my feelings. I tend to bury what I feel behind a wall when what I really need to do is allow myself to be vulnerable.

9. Get into a doctoral school. It’ll happen, but who knows where?!

10. Say sorry less. I apologize as a reflex and it’s just not okay.

11. Keep calm and carry on. Also, own it.